Closure...

The internet has made life a lot simplier. I can make reservations online, work remotely, "talk" to friends, etc, etc.. without ever having to leave my house. On the negative side, I don't know if my weight gain and being introverted are results of not having physical interactions. But that's another topic of discussion.

The internet has also made it easier to locate and connect with old flames. I've been known to look up old flames just to find out that they are happily married. On some some occasion, they are not happily married and those are the ones I try to avoid. I've learned there are reasons why they are old flames. Once I dreamt of an ex being violated by another man. I discovered on the internet that he is currently serving time in a California state prison.

Recently, I have been receiving emails from old flames just checking up on me. One email in particular evoked some emotions. We dated for six months almost ten years ago. I broke up with him because I thought he blew me off to go to a friend's party. No one wants to feel stood up and unappreciated. At that time, I was immature, impetuous and quick-tempered and I reacted by... ceasing all communications.

In his email, he wrote:

"I wouldn't of blown you off, that wasn't me. Maybe we didn't get along that night or something. I could've been upset that you didn't make it, and you might of been upset at me. I know one thing, I really liked you and wouldn't of wanted anything to end between us. Sometimes I wondered for a long time how in the world I could've let you slip away. I do remember one thing for sure, we were both very stubborn. I tried to call you a little while later and your phone had been disconnected. That's probably when you had moved. That was unfortunately the end of that. "

It's these kinds of closure that I appreciate. I'm sure it's not necessary to want to know why someone rejected you, but it helps the healing process. The cliched - "It's not you, it's me" is not closure.